Broken Promises
by pinoyprincess
Summary: Eren tries to distance himself from everyone else, but ultimately fails. Mikasa is forcing friends upon him, and he's finding it hard to find reasons not to like them. The blonde boy with the big blue eyes weasels his way into Eren's life, and soon develops a friendship. He has a fateful encounter with someone he feels that he knows, yet he doesn't. His walls are crumbling down.
1. Ending is Just the Beginning Repeating

This is a Reincarnation, Highschool AU. The first chapter is before the reincarnation, second is after. This is the complete summary of my story:

"I'll make it out alive."

"I'll never forget about you."

Two broken promises.  
>Two broken hearts.<br>But no one is left to pick up  
>Their broken parts.<p>

Eren's mother is dead.  
>His father beats him.<br>Sister oblivious to the real reason that he's dying inside.  
>He deserves this. For it's all his fault, it's all the oncoming effects of his mother's death that he's blamed himself for. But, he'll live through it. And yet he won't. He won't live, just endure.<p>

Eren tries to distance himself from everyone else, but ultimately fails. Mikasa is forcing friends upon him, and he's finding it hard to find reasons not to like them. The blonde boy with the big blue eyes weasels his way into Eren's life, and soon develops a friendship. He has a fateful encounter with someone he feels that he knows, yet he doesn't.

Eren finds that his self put up walls are slowly crumbling down into rubble beneath him.  
>But is it for the better, or worse?<p>

Aaaand now for the story!

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Eren was always the one who was labeled as the one who "didn't think before acting." He would usually let his emotions control his actions, thus creating problems by his thoughtless and immediate behavior.

But tonight, Eren had found himself lying down on his bed, starfish-style, contemplating over the meaning of life.

Weren't we all doomed to cease in existence? If that's so, then how would you know If someone will remember you after you have already left? How could you make certain that you weren't just another death, that there was a purpose to your life. That the great times you experienced was worth the pain you would suffer, even if you knew the inevitable; that all of it would come to an end. Why choose to pursue something happy, when it'll eventually come to a halt?

The questions have constantly been attacking the boy's mind, leaving him to think about nothing else but this. Would he be forgotten about? After he would no longer be around as a constant reminder to the rest of the world that he had lived, would there be someone who cared enough to tell his story? Would Levi care enough to remember him?

The mere thought of being forgotten by Levi had caused him to tear up. Eventually, the silent tears turned into dry, racking sobs. His breathing hitched as the world around him became a blur, a distortion of colors that melted into an eerie gray. The cries left a throbbing feeling that pierced his chest, and he couldn't breathe properly. He tried to calm himself down, but to no avail. Tears continuously streamed down his cheeks, leaving his thick eyelashes stuck together as he attempted to blink them away.

He then heard two knocks at the door, quiet knocks that could've easily been mistaken for footsteps, but he knew exactly what they were. He ferociously wiped away the wet trails, leaving his eyes puffy and his face red as he replied to the knocker, "I-I'm busy, come back l-later." Seconds later, the door opened.

"Tch, you brat. Busy my ass." Levi hissed, closing the door as he made his way in. His eyes widened as he noticed the sight before him: Eren, with bloodshot eyes and red, blotchy skin, he looks as if he'd just been done with an intense emotional release.

"Eren! Are you alright? Why are you crying?" Levi asked, rushing franticly towards the boy who was trying to hide himself in his covers. He turned away and leaned into the sheets, blocking his face from the piercing gunmetal-blue eyes staring at him.

"I-I... it's stupid. I'm just a stupid crybaby." The brunette's response was muffled by his protective layer of blankets.

"Hey, look at me." Levi gently reached for Eren's chin and angled it towards him, so that he had no choice but to look him in the eyes. "There's never a stupid reason for crying. You know you can tell me, Eren." The sincerity that lingered in his voice was almost painful to Eren, knowing that this man actually cared for him. He lifted his head up to face Levi more directly.

"You... you won't forget about me right?" Sadness afflicted his voice as he stared into the eyes before him. Levi's face relaxed from it's scrunched up expression. He got onto the bed to sit next to Eren and wrapped his arms tightly around him, pulling him close and letting his chin rest on Eren's shoulder. Eren returned the comforting gesture by snaking his hands to his neck and leaning his head against his chest, listening to the beating that emanated from his heart.

"Eren. I would never forget about you. Tch, I don't think I could even if I wanted too. Why would you even think that?" Levi slightly pulled away, only to allow their foreheads to rest against each other's.

"Well, I was just thinking... One day I'll be gone. I might be forgotten about a-and... I don't want you to forget about me because I..." He paused mid-way, thinking about what he was about to say. He decided to continue. "I love you, Levi. I do, and I don't think I could bear it if I knew that you had forgotten about me once I've left." His voice had turned into a small whisper, but Levi was able to make out the brunette's words anyways.

"I love you too, Eren." Levi's lips turned upwards into a tender, loving smile. Just seeing this, seeing the simple sight of a smile made Eren's heart flutter in a way that no one else could've done.

Levi pulled him in for a slow kiss. Eren could feel Levi grin into the kiss, and his cheeks became flushed and he tried to look away out of embarrassment, but he just pulled him in for another kiss. This time raven-haired man cupped Eren's face in his hands, angling it to deepen the kiss. The brunette's hands entangled into Levi's silky, black hair. He loved the feeling of it running through his fingers, soft as satin. He finally allowed his eyes to flutter closed as he let Levi's lips work against his own, and although Levi had dominated the kiss, their mouths worked together in a beautiful harmony of affection.

The two finally broke the kiss to regain their just stared at one another for a while, gazing into each other's eyes. Levi didn't even notice the light red that dusted the brunette's cheeks. Finally breaking the intense staring-contest they had going on, Levi pushed him down so that they lay down on the bed more comfortably, wrapping his arms securely around Eren's waist. Their legs intertwined and their breathing slowed down into a rhythmical beat. He rested his head against Eren's neck, and gently caressed his arms.

"I will never forget you, Eren. That's a promise. I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts. I'll always stay by your side, no matter what." Levi breathed into his neck, placing another soft kiss on the delicate skin.

Eren smiled to himself as he let the warmth of Levi's body encompass him. Levi wouldn't forget about him; he even promised him, and that sincere promise only added to the warmth that left his entire body tingling.

They fell asleep, body's tangled together, and everything else in the world didn't seem to matter so much. Eren already knew that this would eventually come to an end, no matter how long it lasts or how good it feels. So why waste your time worrying about the inevitable, when you could be spending that time doing something that you enjoy? Spending your time with someone that you love? Because with every beautiful beginning, there is always a bitter ending that comes with it.

And Eren was okay with that, as long as he had Levi.

•~•~•~•~•~•3 months later: Eren P.O.V.•~•~•~•~•~•

Agony wrenches my body, and it feels as if it's all I've ever known. The world around me is getting harder and harder to see clearly, my vision turning into a muddled image of my surroundings.

It was supposed to be an easy mission, a simple go in, get out plan, but I hadn't anticipated the large pack of titans that had swarmed around me. It was like they had waited for me, and made their presence unknown to the others in the Survey Corps. I was greatly outnumbered, and they were all determined to kill me. I was definitely at and enormous disadvantage.

They teared at my limbs, my head, and anywhere that could lay their hands on. Just as I would manage to knock one of my attackers off of me, another one would show up in turn. I could feel me regeneration slowing as my energy depleted, I just couldn't fight anymore. Before I knew it, I was laying on the ground, numerous Titans ripping and pulling at my body, aggressively battling me as if I were still fighting; as if I were still a threat to them.

I didn't even notice that their attacking had ceased, and I can tell why. There's nothing left of me worth hurting.

I let out a loud, pitiful cry, in hopes that Levi will hear me and my pleads for him. My chances for surviving are slim, despite the undeniable determination set into my eyes. I know I have gone too far, and in turn my consequences might bring my life to an abrupt end, but all that matters is that he's here with me.

All that matters is that he remembered about me. I need him here.

"I'll stay by your side; no matter what."

Somewhere deep down, the feeling that he will come for me is questionable. I hope he proves me wrong.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**Pain.**

It soon turned into all that I knew; a constant, ongoing sensation that took over my mind; my body; my soul. Never, would I be able to forget.

I'm unable to escape it's formidable wrath, it's lingering past, and I wonder if I had really ever felt anything but pain, because it all seems too mundane.

An ordinary thing, to be regularly tortured. Natural and native, as I submit to the agony that I let myself succumb to.

I try to resist, to oppose, but it never works. The strong grasp it has prevents me from overcoming, from moving on.

It will always be apart of me, be one with me. I will never escape it's deceitful, wrong hands.

**Pain.**

Until everything I value is gone.

Until I have nothing worth caring about losing, hurting.

Until I'm nothing but an empty shell. A sad, broken, shell.

Until life isn't worth living, and I may as well be done for, dead.

Until pain is all that I have left to hold onto.

•~•~•~•~•~•2 hours later•~•~•~•~•~•

This sensation is all to familiar for me to resist, and I can't control the painful sobs that continuously wrack my body, arduous whimpering unwillingly escaping my dry mouth, resulting in hoarse, failed attempts at cries for help. The tears weren't solely coming from the physical pain I was enduring, yet by the emotional suffering as well. Even through the substantial effort I had established into not to surrendering to it, I had failed. I let my emotions get the best of me, and I was susceptible to it.

And here I am, my body slowly creeping into death, by myself. All alone, without him, because he forgot about me.

I need you. Where are you.

It was pitiful, really. I was so vulnerable right now. I continued to wallow in my own self-pity as I lay there motionless, my tattered titan body splayed amongst the cold ground with my limp head propped against a tree, staring at nothing. A canvas of nothingness, filled with insignificant things that didn't quite catch my valued attention. Nothing seemed deserving of my acknowledgment of it's existence. Only the presence of Levi would snap me out of my deathly, lethargic haze.

Please, Levi come for me. Don't forget.

My regeneration isn't working, so I know I won't make it. I want to... I want to make it. But I don't think I can. I'm sorry for that, Levi.

He forgot. If he had managed to forget about me, was I even worth caring about to him?

I can feel my blood, rushing out of my body, at what seems to be an alarming speed, through my many lesions. I've began to lose sensation of what's left of my remaining arm. My legs are no longer, only gaping holes of red. Lacerations and bruises litter my the remains of my figure, as if it's one entire wound. Both my titan and human form aches, ripping at me at very possible opportunity, but these are not the worst of my symptoms. No, the physical pain isn't what hurts the most; it's the emotional pain. The betrayal of promises.

I miss everything about Levi. I miss his warm caress at night. His soft kisses he'd give to me. His deep, soothing voice he'd always use on me. His unhealthy obsession of cleaning. I even miss the names he'd call me, but I really miss him, his entirety.

But I know that never again will I feel his warmth, his love. Never again will we kiss, or hug.

And that breaks my heart. My heart has been smashed into a million pieces, unable to be put back together. It'd be useless to try anyways, because there would always be missing parts.

" I will never forget you."

He wasn't here when I needed him most, to see me in the precious time that remained. Here, I've had to lay alone for what seems to be countless hours, waiting for the time that he would finally arrive to comfort and help me. All that I wish is to see him, one more time.

Levi, I love you. Please don't forget that; as you did me.

But all that Levi had left for me was an empty, broken promise.

•~•~•~•~•~•1 hour later: Narration•~•~•~•~•~•

His wails have come to a screeching halt, as has the pain.

The End. He can sense it. It's soon.

But maybe it's all for the best. Now, Eren won't have to bear the pain, both physical and emotional. The pitiful boy can succumb to perpetual slumber, and let his mind turn to an eternal tranquillity.

As he dies, will his life flash before him? Will his last moments be dedicated to the remembrance of his past? Eren hopes so, he wants to remember the happy times he has had. The times he will never be able to relive; because he'll be gone.

He decides to let out one last cry, one final time. And a pitiful one it was, heart-wrenching wails that ferociously emerged from his sore throat.

Eren's eyes burned as he allowed one more single tear to slide down his cheek as the darkness slowly infects his vision, creeping over as the unconsciousness begins to settle. Eren's body gradually calms; letting his body lay limp, and letting his entire being seep towards the ground. His eyes slowly flutter until they are completely closed, mentally preparing himself for the inevitable.

"L-L-Levi, I love you. I'm sorry I didn't ma-" he hoarsely whispered to himself, wishing that Levi could hear him, and trailed off mid-sentence.

Eren took in one a long breath; the last breath he would ever take. And within an instant, everything turned black. No flashbacks, no memories; just the abiding void that had taken over. It all ended too soon; there was so much he had wanted to do, so much he had wanted to make right.

But the turquoise-eyed boy had allowed himself to settle into an everlasting oblivion, and it's finally the End. The end of his life, the end of Eren, and he would never be able to change anything about it. Would he be forgotten? Would Levi ever forget about him again? Eren didn't know the answer to his questions, and he would never know the answer.

Because he had ceased to exist, with Levi's promise still shattered, the pieces never put back together.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Red.

All Levi can see is the blood that's plaguing his vision. Crimson infected the landscape in scattered blotches, pooling into mirrors of red. Strewed figures, all deformed embodiments of their former self, are both grisly and hematic. It was a gruesome sight, and would forever be drilled into his mind; never able to forget the remains of the treacherous massacre before him.

Through moist eyes, he inspected the various bodies that abundantly littered the ground. All seemed vaguely familiar, but it was still uncertain due to their devastated bodies. He saw ginger hair, now contaminated with blood, framing dull amber eyes, barely open. Broken glasses, and chestnut hair. Thick, bushy brows above icy blue eyes, resting on a mangled face. He couldn't bring himself to review the rest of the bodies, it was too much, all too much. Too many afflicted. Too many dead for him to bear.

Two-toned hair, long face.

The overwhelmed man stumbled backwards until his back hits a tree, and he slumped down towards the ground, trying to ignore the precious dead around him.

Sprinkled freckles upon a tan canvas.

Who else? There can't be anyone else right? This is too many, all too many. His heart was beating fast, and his troubled breathing came in short gasps.

A shaved head, hazel eyes.

Levi's eyes became flooded with water, small droplets slowly trailing it's way down his pale cheek.

Large, aquamarine orbs and messy brown- His thoughts came to a halt as he noticed the recognizable characteristics. It can't be... it can't be Eren. This body, this battered body, it looks like Eren. But it's not Eren. No, it's not him. His eyes, this figure's eyes, they're hallow and lifeless. Eren's shone with determination and strength: those couldn't be his. Yet, a certain persistent pain in his heart urged him to check, to confirm his accusations...but he didn't want to. Levi was afraid. Afraid of the permanent results, that he would be wrong, that this person was in all actuality Eren, that he's really dead. Despite his hesitation, Levi warily made his way to the splayed form, body contorted in a way that seemed so side of his face was pressed towards the ground, chocolate locks falling into his eyes. Blood poured from the humongous gash on his torso, the raw flesh red and irritated. The sight was horrendous, and would forever be etched into his memory; hiding in the back of his mind, a constant token of pure misery and suffering.

Crouching down besides the corpse, he brushed the fallen hair away and tucked it behind his ear. Levi's eyes widened as his inquiry was confirmed. He frantically wrapped himself around the Eren, still caught in the midst of pure shock. He was able to comprehend fully, but was incapable of entirely controlling his unsteady actions. Levi's breathing caught in his throat, wrinkling his face as his eyes forced closed until all he could see was black, and moisture collected underneath his eyes. His chest heaved heavily as his grip on Eren tightened, pitiful sobs escaping his gaping mouth.

"I failed you, I failed you. I'm s-sorry, Eren. P-Please, don't be gone. I need you!" He sniveled, his speech frequently choking in his throat and turning chaotic . No response was given in return, a certain validation of his worst fears.

"E-Eren, no. No,no,no,no!" Levi muffled his scream by burying his face into Eren's neck, the ferocity of his laments rapidly increasing. It felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart, and was continuously twisting and turning the knife, perpetuating the tremendous pain.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

His surroundings seemed to melt together, transitioning into distorted images of reality and delusion. Confusion struck him hard, he was unaware of what was happening. Levi gripped his pounding head, trying to relieve the disorientation and focus on the actuality of the situation. He leaned back against the headboard, his thin shirt matted to his sweaty body. Lifting his hand to his face, he felt moisture. But no, not sweat; tears, and a throbbing pain in his chest reappeared. Everything came back to him in abrupt, incoherent images:

Red.

Deformed bodies.

Tears.

Eren.

Dead.

His entire body trembled as he remembered Eren, limp beneath him. Was it real? Levi didn't know. He couldn't recognize the faint boundaries between the fictional and the real, it was all a jumbled blur in his mind. Only one thing was certain in his mind: he need to make sure Eren was still here, that he wasn't gone.

Levi searched the bed hectically until his hands met with a sleeping form, and he leaned into the body, listening for a heart beat. The man was relieved once he heard the faint vibration radiating from his chest, and encased Eren protectively with his arms, a tear leaving his glassy eyes. He felt Eren stir beneath him, and he looked confusingly towards Levi.

"Levi, what's wrong?" He questioned, turning his body so that he rested on his side and faced the older man.

"Nothing is wrong." Levi lied, and Eren gave him an "I don't believe you anything you're saying" look.

"No, I call bullshit. You were crying, Levi. Obviously something is wrong- and I want to help you. So tell me."

"Noth-...I just had a bad fucking dream, okay?" Levi huffed, at first doubting telling Eren what had happened, but knew that he would just pester him until he finally gave in.

"Well, what was it about?" Levi closed his eyes, trying to flush out all of the horrific images that raced through his mind. Eren saw this, and reached out to caress his face.

"You don't have to tell me. I can tell it was something horrible." Pity was practically seeping out of his voice as he tried to console Levi.

"No, no it's fine. I should tell you." He confessed, trying to remember the details of his nightmare. "I saw... I saw so much blood. Blood was everywhere, Eren, and it all belonged to the members of the Survey Corps... Erwin, Petra, Hanji-..." Levi took a deep breath, preparing himself mentally."...-a-and you..." Eren wiped away at the silent droplet that ran down his cheek. Pulling him in even closer, he wrapped his arms around Levi's waist, and they were so close it would seem fit to label them as a singular being.

"I'm so scared, Eren. We have a mission to go outside the walls tomorrow, and what if... What if this happens? What if you're gone? I need you, I won't be able to survive if you're not here to help me through it. My life would be so fucking shitty without you."

" Levi, don't worry, it's an easy mission. Anyways, I'll be in my Titan form, and you already know that I'm super fucking awesome when I'm a Titan." Eren proudly told him.

"Well, aren't you humble." "Yes, I am. I'm so humble it hurts." He put his hand over his heart, and faked a pained expression. Levi let out a stifled laugh, and lightly whacked Eren's arm.

"But really, you have nothing to worry about, okay? I'll make it out alive, I promise."

"You promise?"

•~•~•~•~•~•Levi P.O.V.- Next Day•~•~•~•~•~•

I've been on edge all day. The nightmare from last night had given me a glimpse of the potential outcome of this mission, and I didn't like what I saw. But I had felt better due to the promise that had been made to me; and I know that Eren isn't one to bail out on one. And all was going well. No packs of Titans, no deaths. This is good.

But what about Eren? Is he okay? He's by himself, I hope he doesn't make any rash decisions... Fuck. Of course he would, he's Eren, and he's "super fucking awesome when he's a Tit-" A vociferous scream broke my train of thought. No, not a scream. A cry. It sounded inhumane, almost monstrous, yet emotion lingered in the agonizing howl, and was seemingly...familiar. Could that have been, him? My mind instantly filled with images from my previous nightmare. Eren... Please be okay... I need you to be-Another scream. This time it was quieter, and sounded defeated.

My instincts kicked in as I ran in the direction of the tormented voice. Louder... Louder... Louder... I started to use my 3d maneuvering gear to increase my speed; to get to this unknown sound faster. I rushed past hovering trees, swinging by their branches, and the cry's volume was increasing. I continued to follow the voice's invisible path that was slowly retreating, trailing my way towards it. I'm afraid of my awaiting aftermath, will Eren be there, waiting for me? Will he be...gone?

And at that moment, my world came to a screeching halt as I found Eren's tattered titan form splayed amongst the ground. Eren... oh Eren, please be okay! I quickly ran towards him as my tears started to cloud my vision. I brushed them away as I rapidly yet cautiously cut the Titan's neck in the correct spots,prying him out of the fleshy mess, and revealed my Eren; limp, pale, and bloody. My breathing hitched, leaving a shuddering pain in my chest, and my throat seemed to close in on itself. I desperately tried to kneel down next to him, but I had ungraciously stumbled and was left a trembling heap of sobs over top of his body.

How could I have let this happen? I wrapped my myself around him, burying my head into his cold body.

"E-Eren... Oh my god... How'd I let this fucking happen! I... we promised each other-and you... you were supposed to make it out alive!" I wheezed into his neck, my speech becoming suffocated.

"Eren... I can't- I can't take this! I can't live without you!" Shakily, I sat up and drew out one of my blades and stared at the sharp metal that reflected myself upon it. I hate myself. How could you let this happen? I wiped the splattered crimson off of Eren's face and gave his stained cheek a kiss. Cupping his face in my hands, I stared at him, the last time I would be able to do so.

"Don't you worry Eren, I'll be there soon. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, and I'm so fucking sorry that you're dead. But hey, don't worry, I'm coming for you." I whispered to him, letting my lips turn upwards as I brought the blade closer to my chest, hovering above my heart.

"I promise."

And with a jerk, the weapon pierced my heart. I was gasping for unattainable breaths as I fell backwards, landing next to Eren. Hastily turning to face him, I let my surroundings melt, and the darkness creeped around him, my vision slowly becoming smaller and smaller, encircling his face. It would be the last thing I would ever see. And that's okay, because it was him. I have to enjoy my last few moments while it lasts. As someone once told me, "Every beautiful beginning has a bitter ending."

"I love you-" I smiled.

That was the last thing I said before everything turned black.


	2. I was an Angel in the garden of evil

**This chapter may contain content that can be triggering; self-harm mention, abuse, etc.**

And just a P.S. I know this story looks like it's going to be sad, but it will have a HAPPY ENDING. Okay!

•~•~•~•~•~•Eren's P.O.V.•~•~•~•~•~•

Well, I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Eren Jaeger, a hotheaded and impulsive 15 year old, or so I've been told. I'm also considered to be a depressed and isolated individual with many problems. What are those problems? Yeah, sure I'll tell you, but let's go one at a time.

First and foremost, I'm lonely and abandoned. I have no friends, I've managed to shut them all out after my- the accident. My father, constantly beats me to a deathly pulp. My adoptive sister who's a year older than me, Mikasa, should really just give up on me now. I completely disregard everyone, including her, my only remaining support system, and I wouldn't blame her for her actions. So eventually, she realized that her efforts of comforting me about mom's passing would never work, and she didn't try anymore. The thing is, she just didn't understand that it wasn't solely the fact that I watched my own mother die in my arms, it's the combination of that and the events following. But it's all my fault, and I deserve this treatment anyways.

So, we've came to a silent agreement of putting our emotions aside from one another, because there's no need for the other to be burdened with the excess complications added onto our troublesome, day to day life.

Oh, but of course. How could a simple teenager's life be a hard one to endure? What a clichéd analysis that is. You would have to be oblivious to not recognize that something is seriously wrong. To the naked eye, a plastered smile can look so joyous and perfect. But it's not perfect. In fact, it's anything but. All it represents is that poor attempt to camouflage the built up hurt that you don't want anyone to see, because no one can know that you're weak. Yet I can see right through the facades. I can sense the hidden pain that is desperately trying to be concealed, because I know what it's like to want to put up a boundaries between yourself and others to shield your delicate secrets.

But as for me, I don't even attempt at such a thing. Why would I bother with putting in the effort of deceiving those surrounding me when they are already aware of my horrible state of misery and self-hatred. And It's not like I have anyone to hide it from anyways. At first, I hadn't felt this way. I had still let myself wallow in seething disgust, but I made sure everyone else was unaware of this.

And so instead of simply feeling like utter shit all the time, I punished myself. With the help of razor blades. Then, my self mutilation turned into flagellation via my father. He had blamed me for everything, insisting that I was the reason for her death, and so he had punished my both physically and emotionally. He constantly told me I was "A no good piece of shit" and that I "Should've died in place of her." All this persuasion has led me to believe that I really was the cause of her fatality, and it all went into a never-ending downwards spiral from there.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

I was 11 years old, and the date was March 29th; the day before my birthday. I was coming home from a tedious day at school and I noticed that the door to our home was left slightly ajar.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" I asked, yet no response was given. After setting down my backpack, I walked into the kitchen.

"Mom? Are you-" My voice choked in my throat as I saw a glimpse of a limp body, and blood pooling beside the unknown form. Shocked inflicted my entire body as I stood there, frozen in spot. Everything around me was on a nonstop fast forward, while I was stuck in the midst of it all, frozen in time, unaware of reality and fiction. It was so much to take in all at once.

Long, chestnut hair, framing brown eyes. And I finally came to the realization that this body is my Mother.

"Mom!" I frantically ran to her side, ignoring the tears that threatened my sight. She was sprawled on the ground, with a knife piercing her side, crimson spilling from the wound. My mother slowly repositioned herself so that she faced me, and looked into my eyes. She looked exhausted, the usual loving presence in her eyes no longer existed, instead replaced by lethargy.

"Er...en... I love you... and I'm... sorry that ... I won't be... there for you... just know... that I'll always be... in here," Her hand lifted and landed on her chest, above her heart. Her hands then went to her kneck, unclasping her necklace, and she gestured it towards me. "Take... this... to remember me by... I... love..." Her loving voice slowly trailed off as her eyes turned dull as they slightly closed, her palm relaxing, necklace still enclosed.

"Mom, no! Don't go!" I cried, tears falling from my face and onto hers. My chest throbbed with a feeling that seemed so familiar, so recognizable, but I didn't understand why. And I didn't want to.

I wrapped my arms around her lifeless body, trying to imagine her still there, her loving eyes full of adoration still gazing, her hugs still warm and comforting. But she was gone. I rhythmically clenched my fists, as my face contorted into an enraged emotion.

"M-om, I...No! You can't be gone!" I screamed. My heart felt as if it was ripped out of my chest, as it heaved heavily and sobs wracked my entire body. I closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep next to my mother. I didn't want to continue to feel these horrible feelings. I want to confiscate them, and I want my mother back.

Suddenly I was being violently shaken. I groaned as I rolled over to face them. It was Mikasa, and she was crying; her eyes puffy and face red.

"M-Mikasa, what's wrong?"

"Eren..." She looked at me warily, eyes open wide. I came to the realization of my reality. My mother is leaned down and hugged me tightly, and I buried my face into her neck, my violent tears soaking the fabric of her shirt, clutching her arms as if she was all I had left, which she was.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

No longer was I the enthusiastic, naturally smiling Eren. Oh, no. He had died alongside my mother. The new Eren just goes through the motions, putting in only enough effort that I'm considered alive, but not living. I've stopped trying in school. My teachers gave me pity, and so I was excused for my nonchalant behavior. For a while.

My mother's case was never solved. The fucker that had the nerve to kill her didn't leave anything as evidence. And that drove me crazy; I would never know who took the life of my mom. She would never get the justice that she deserved. I wanted to avenge her death, but I couldn't. Since there was no one else to blame it on, I chose myself to be the bearer of the fault.

After the accident, I became very secluded. I didn't want anyone else to know about my pain, and this drove so many people away. Yet there was always the recurring request to "hang out" on the weekend, but I declined. Because that's how I wanted to be.

I want to obsess over the fact that this is all my fault. I know that if I allow myself to engage in friendships, they won't let me blame myself. I would become happy, and I'd start to forget. But I can't forget. I refuse to forget, because it's all that I have left to remember my mother by. Once the memory is gone, there's no getting it back.

So I need to punish myself, I need to enforce the constant reminder. I need to be alone. I can't let anyone break down my walls and comfort me. I need to rely on solely myself. And that's what I deserve.

But my father, oh my father. He thought I deserved much worse.

Was it bad enough that I had already hated myself with a burning passion? No.

That I blamed myself daily for what had happened? Of course not.

That I self-harmed? Aha, nope.

That I wish that I was dead? No way.

So when I come home from school one day to meet my father standing with an empty beer bottle in his hand expectantly waiting by the door, I'm not surprised. But this time, he looked strangely enraged.

"The little fucker is home." He hissed at me, angrily reaching to grab at the collar of my shirt. I tried to not let him faze me, yet horror still overtook my body.

"How was school, boy? Learn anything new that would actually make you not so worthless?" He growled, shoving me forcefully back into the wall. I anxiously held my breath as he raised his fist, preparing myself for the inevitable hit coming my way. Turning my head to the side, I winced as his knuckles came into violent contact with my cheek.

That was the first time his repeated insults and threats had grew into physical abuse, I was 12. It had been one year since my mother passed, and his hatred towards me was boiling inside of him until he couldn't stand it any longer.

And before long, it had all become routine to me: Come home. Find him drunk as hell, he beats me, calls me names, threatens me, passes out on the couch, and then I make an escape to my room. I swiftly scour for a clean section amongst my scarred canvas I call skin, and I start to carve into the remaining spots.

A disarray of long and short marks heavily cover both my arms and thighs. Some a healed creamy white, while others still irritated and red. But the pain that is rewarded is well worth it to me. I get to escape into my own delusions, blinded by the agony of the blade. And so I continue to cut myself, attempting to postpone the awaiting and inevitable reality I must come back to. Because when I disappear into my own self afflicted trance, I'm only able to focus on the physical pain I'm enduring, and temporarily forget about the emotional abuse that is tied to my existence.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Today is the first day of my Sophomore year, and I'm absolutely dreading it.

I lazily throw on a worn black hoodie, and tug on my dark-wash skinny jeans. But my "skinny jeans" don't really fit that great, all thanks to my amazing and totally well-balanced diet.

I look into the mirror, staring at my opposing reflection. Dead see-green eyes set on a gaunt face. A few faint purple bruises amongst my cheeks. I thought they would've healed completely by now, but obviously they haven't.

After analyzing all my unchangeable imperfections and reviewing everything that I hated about myself maybe a little bit too much, I cautiously made my way downstairs towards the kitchen. I mean, I don't care a whole bunch about what I look like, but I'd rather not show up on the first day sporting fresh evidence of abuse thanks to my poor excuse of a father.

Once my worries were confirmed inaccurate, I decided to get some cereal, because it'll be a long day today. I open up the cabinets to find a half-empty (or half-full for all you crazed optimists out there) box of Fruity Pebbles. Jackpot. I stir the milk and sugary, I mean fruity, pebbles, waiting for the mixture to become soggy. That's how I've always liked my cereal, and that's how she would always make it for me. I reached up to fumble with the bronze key tied around my neck.

I think I'm going to actually try in school and further my education. That's what Mom would have wanted, Eren. My fingers tightened around the necklace, and a droplet fell into my cereal. Great. Both sugary and salty.

I get pretty emotional when I even slightly think about my mom, because all of the memories that had been hidden deep resurface, and the pain that was already brewing just intensified. It made me feel horrible, so I try hard to refrain from mentioning her name. But sometimes when I'm in the midst of deep thought, I don't think about what I'm saying and things slip out.

"Hey, Eren." My grip halted as I instantly turned my head to the voice.

"Hey, Mikasa." I responded groggily, returning to the task at hand: stirring my cereal.

"Are... you excited?" She asked, taking the chair next to me.

"Defintely. I can't wait to sit in a chair for 7 hours and learn!" I snorted in a fake giddy voice.

"I can always count on you to be optimistic, can't I?" My sister giggled. I let my lips turn upwards. It always made me happy when I made her laugh.

No. You can't be happy, Eren! My slight smile fell.

"You look nice. You must really be trying hard to make a good impression, huh?" She wore a burgundy knit dress, paired with the red scarf I had given to her when she first joined our family. I think she really likes that scarf, because it seems as though she always wears it whenever she can.

"Thanks," She looked towards the clock."We should probably get going now. Wouldn't want to miss the bus on the first day, would we?" She stood up and we both walked towards the door. I slipped on black converse, while she decided to go with her long brown boots.

Wow. That's the longest we've ever held an actual conversation. Maybe... we can have a new start. Just like she had gotten after her horrible incident.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

She was only 7 years old, when her home was broken into. Mikasa and her mom were sitting at their table, knitting peacefully. There was a loud knocking coming from outside of their front door. Her father went to answer it.

The perpetrator stabbed her dad in the heart as he opened it, and lunged for her mother. They then stabbed her mother in the same place as well, leaving little Mikasa in a midst of pure shock. She then made a run for it, running as fast as she could, her bare feet being pricked by the small rocks scattered on the sidewalk. The murdered was stunned as she flashed by him, then disappeared from the scene, climbing into his car and leaving behind the dead bodies of Mikasa's parents.

Meanwhile, my mother, father, and I were taking a walk around the neighbor hood when we saw her. Running in her pajamas, tears flying out of her eyes.

"Mikasa! What are you doing!" My mom ran over towards her, and Mikasa broke into a sobbing mess as she thew her arms around my mother.

"Mom... a-and dad... K-k..." She managed to choke out threw her heart-wenching laments, her strangely strong grip tightening around my mother.

"Oh... Mikasa. You poor thing." My mother picked her up like a baby, and Mikasa cuddled into her, her tears soaking my mother's clothes.

"Grisha," She turned to face my father sternly. "Call 911. In the meantime, we need to take her home. I don't know anyone else who knows her family... and she needs comfort."

"Yes, of course dear." My father agreed, taking out his phone as he dialed three numbers.

This girl greatly interested with the red scarf around my neck, I pulled it off and walked towards her small form in my mother's arms.

"Um, hey... little girl. You look sad... so here." I bundled the scarf largely around her neck.

"Th-thank you..." She sniveled.

And that started the beginning of a great friendship between us. We were inseparable, a relationship that would've grown from twin siblings. After the accident, I was able to relate to her. Following such a traumatic experience you would've thought that we would've grown even closer, yet, remarkably, I had managed to drive a wedge between us.

But I want it to be like how it used to be. I want that back, along with many other things. Hopefully, she will give me a chance.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

As we were walking towards the bus I realized something, and my lips turned into a frown.

"What's wrong?" Mikasa asked, stopping hurriedly walk towards me. She's always worried to much.

"Oh, it's nothing." I lied, looking away from her disbelieving face.

"No. Spill it." She's always been a fighter.

"Okay fine," I huffed.

"I never ate my cereal."

And with that, I was given a long eye roll, and she started on her way without me, leaving me to dart at full speed once I realized the bus doors were starting to close.


	3. I focus on the pain

Eren and some of his first day endeavors. He meets many new people including potato girl, , friendly guy, and the man with grey eyes.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Once I reluctantly got onto the bus, I found Mikasa had already chosen a spot in the back. I found it odd that the front half of the vehicle was full, while the back was left empty. I wonder why, I mean, don't the kids usually want to be in the back? I shrugged away my thoughts and took my place next to Mikasa on the brown seat that is way too small.

The bus came to a rocky halt as we arrived at another stop, and I watched as they all filed into the seats, some joining us in the back. A girl with long brown hair pulled into a ponytail decided to take the seat next to Mikasa and I, and I was baffled as she pulled out an entire raw potato and started to devour it. We met glances for a second, and she gestured it towards me.

"Whey. Ooh woo wanth thum?" The girl raised her eyebrows, speech muffled from chewing on the ginormous pieces of potato in her mouth.

"Um," I gave a small shake of my head, reaching up to fumble with something hanging around my neck. "No thanks..." The bizarre girl gave a cheeky smile, potato bits still plain to see in her mouth. Disgusting.

From Mikasa's astonished look, I could tell she felt the same way.

"Woahkay then," Finally, she took a large gulp of her food. "The name's Blouse, Sasha Blouse." She offered her hand, but not before wiping it off onto her pants.

"Eren, and this is Mikasa." I hesitated a second before returning the friendly gesture.

"Cool! We should like totally hang out! Chill. Kick it. Get together. Meet-"

No thanks.

"We get it, you would like to meet up sometime." Mikasa cut her off, obviously getting annoyed by Sasha's many ways of saying "hang out."

"Well, yeah! Since you offered!"

"I'm not sure when that was ever said." Mikasa continued. She was always so blunt.

"Aha! You're a funny one!" And with that, the conversation abruptly ended as Sasha turned away from us and rested herself against the metal wall next to the seat. I think she's... sleeping.

"Is she sleeping?"

Her eyes are closed, aren't they?

My thoughts were confirmed once I heard some obnoxious snores.

"Yeah, I think so." I answered back shortly, still trying to fully register our conversation.

"She's weird."

You don't say.

"Yeah."

"But I like her."

Oh great. That means more human interaction.

"Cool."

I was met with silence. It was nice. It seemed to stay like that forever. And then...

"You know, we could use some friends."

My piercing eyes shot towards her, and I could tell by the look on her face she was being serious.

"No. I don't need friends. Nor do I want them. Never have, never will. You can be friends with potato girl, but I know I won't." I spat, my words coming out a little more vindictive that I had originally intended. I felt my face heating up, but something cooled me back to an orderly temperature.

All that I got in response from Mikasa was an achingly hurt look before she turned away from me, and guilt suddenly rushed through my body. I know she was just trying to help, but I can't. I can't have friends.

With a sigh, I dropped my head back onto the seat so that I stared at the ceiling, focusing my gaze until it disappeared into blackness. I opened my eyes in surprise from a tight, pulling grip on my arm.

Mikasa.

I groaned, holding onto my now aching limb.

"You really shouldn't sleep on the bus, Eren." She said flatly.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Mikasa and I have no classes together, given she's a junior. She was very upset about this, and even went to extents of contacting our principal about this. But I assured her it was fine, I'd be fine. She's always been overprotective, but never at the right times.

Time...

**7:22.**

8 minutes until my first class.

After stuffing my unnecessary materials into my locker, I glanced down at the white piece of paper in my hands. Chemistry. Room F112. I let out huff of annoyance. My locker is in H hall, and my first period is all the on the opposite side of the school.

Trost High is enormous. There's halls letter A-E, in alphabetical order. Halls H-E are locker and classroom halls, While A-C are solely side halls that lead outside, containing the awkwardly hidden classrooms that only the "lucky" are able to be assigned. I was left to learn all of this through trial and error my freshman year, but now I'm educated with the knowledge. Everything should be easier now.

**7:28**

Shit.

Slamming the door closed, I try to dart towards my next class, but something is forcing me back.

Fuck!

I quickly unlock my locker and promptly release my hoodie, and hurry towards Chemistry.

By the time I made it there, it was already 3 minutes past.

"Young man! You are late! Late for this very important date!" Exclaimed the woman. She had chestnut hair that was tied up unorderly, chunks framing the sides of her face, and her glasses reflected the glare from the incoming sun.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, almost under my breath. I could feel practically everyone's eyes staring at me. How wonderful. First day, and I've already greatly emphasized my presence.

"Ah! No worries, my young grasshopper. Take a seat, take a seat." I subtly nodded.

"Name?"

"Eren."

I decided to take a seat in the back, the less attention drawn to me after this point the better. On my way there, I exchanged glances with considerably sized cobalt orbs, and he offered a smile. I instantly turned my attention away from him, attempting to act oblivious to the affable action. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a downturn of lips.

It's all for the better. I reminded myself. I don't want to bring anyone else down with me, as the burdening anchor that I am. So, no friends. None. But, maybe one couldn't hurt?

No.

I quietly took my seat in the isolated corner that I wisely determined was appropriate.

The teacher's chocolate eyes immediately lit up and she started with the just one of the plethora of "First Day of School" speeches I am expected to obediently tolerate.

"Okay, class! First off, my name is Hange Zoë," She lowered her chin and her expression suddenly turned startlingly dark. "But call me ë. If you call me Hange Zoë, bad things will happen."

Silence flooded the entire room, everyone giving each other worrisome glances. It rung in my ears, deafeningly tedious. We all waited for something to happen, but nothing did. It was as if was purposefully creating this eerie and confused ambience to ensure a strong emphasis on her promised delivery of menace.

And the solemnity that saturated the room was replaced by convulsive laughter. ë action's were greatly resembling those of a seizure and I was seriously starting to become worried as she held on to her tensing stomach, body extending and flexing repeatedly with her head upturned. She was nearly gasping for breath as her knees buckled, collapsing to the ground. Her cackling dwindled, and she wiped tears from her still beaming face as she pulled herself up with help of her close by desk.

I swear: if that woman isn't the pure definition of "physcopath," then I'm scared to know what is considered suitable for such an appellation.

"Oh wow this... class is so gullible! You were all like... and I was... and... Wooh..." She managed to sputter through heaving wheezes, leaning against her desk to gain her composure. The entire class watched as she focused her gaze on the clock, and her breathing slowly returned to normal.

"Oooookay!"

And with that, class continued.

We all went over the safety regulations that were deemed mandatory to participate in this class, and I put the paper away into my homework folder, noting the required signature.

"Now class, don't forget to get that sheet signed! If you don't, then you won't be able to have fun. And fun is great. So, get it signed!" She called out to us as the bell rang. I took an extra second to take out my schedule paper, and continued my way towards my new destination.

English.

Room G212.

English.

Room-

My thought process was adjourned as I felt my body collide with something.

"Hey, watch where you're fucking going, shithead." The man hissed. For such a small person, the vulgarity of his language was surprising. And I almost wanted to snicker at the height difference, but I refrained.

"I'm sorry." I murmured. I looked down to see who exactly this was when I met a pair of icy grey eyes. The unknown and churlish man's thin eyebrows were knitted together, and lips in a scowl.

But their intimidating stare immediately softened once his eyes met mine. An unknown feeling seemed to take over my body, rushing at full speed and making my heart beat faster. I felt my mouth open repeatedly, but nothing seemed to leave my desperate lips. I didn't notice the way my hand securely gripped the key that hung from my neck.

"D-do... I know you?" He asked me, glancing at my hands and then back to my face. This time I was able to manage sounds, but they were barely comprehensible.

"I-uh... No. May- No." I affirmed promptly, shaking my head lightly for emphasis before turning from him and walking as fast as I could.

My legs kept on walking, my mind didn't pay attention. It was only when my face was hit by a gust of wind that I noticed where my frantic legs were taking me. My chest hitched, and my breathing stopped at my throat. Tears streamed down my cheek, and I quickly brushed away the new moisture, my knuckles turning white as my hand tightened over the cool metal.

Why am I crying?

I relaxed my eyes closed, allowing myself to regain composure. I was glad that I had been outside, because I don't want anyone to see me like this. And I'm very thankful for the comfortable 10 minute passing times that were given.

After I had calmed myself down, I hurriedly made my way towards English. At least G hall was next to F.

Who was this man?

Questions raced through my head, filling my mind with anxiety. I immediately shook my thoughts away, and focused on solely getting to class on time.

•~•~•~•~•~•Levi P.O.V.•~•~•~•~•~•

I'm on my way to English when some abnormal giant walks right into me. He was too busy paying attention to the stupid piece of paper in his hands, that he didn't have the fucking human decency to mind anyone else in the hallway.

Brat.

"Hey, watch where you're fucking going, shithead." I angrily hissed at him. He seemed startled. Good.

"I'm sorry." He muttered in a whisper. This kidding is just pissing me off more and more, I mean if you're going to apologize, at least make sure that they can fucking hear you. His messy brown locks aren't helping either. It looks like he just woke up from his bed and decided it was time to go.

No, it's not time to go yet, take an extra minute and fucking brush your hair.

He looked (down) to face me and I shot him an aggressive glare. Once I saw those eyes, my scowl relaxed. His humongous golfball eyes, they're like a weird combination of bright green and blue, but it's not turquoise. They seem familiar, I've seen them before.

But yet they're different.

In my previous memory, I could've sworn they glistened with a zealous sheen, but now they just seem apathetic. I noted the way that he clutched onto his necklace, a metal chain with a dull bronze key hanging from it.

He must think I'm weird, the way I'm getting lost in his eyes. But I mean, they're like an... ocean. How could I not drown in them?

"D-do... I know you?"

Did I just stutter? Since when do I stutter.

What has this damn kid done to me.

"I-uh... No. May- No." As soon as he gave me his jumbled answer, he turned on his heel on started to walk away.

I swear, I've seen this kid before. I know I've seen him before. The same (annoyingly) chaotic brown hair, same unmistakably prodigious eyes, a true spitting image of the person that lingers in my memory. Even though the image is distant, his features are to distinct to be dismissed from my mind. I couldn't, even if I had wanted to.

How could I forget those eyes?


	4. But all that's dead and gone and passed

Most of the students had decided to fill up the front half of the classroom, so I was lucky and picked a seat in a back corner. No one was next to me. It's all going good. I managed to make it to English without any run-ins with the man. I'm not sure exactly why I had wanted to get away from him so fast, I just... got this feeling. Somehow, his very presence just felt so nostalgic. But, how?

So when I saw the same man with the black hair and piercing grey eyes, I was alarmed. He walked into the classroom and looked around, while I desperately tried to hide myself behind my binder.

Don't come here.

I made the mistake of looking over at him, and we exchanged surprised glances for a while. Flustered, I sharply turned my head away, directing my attention back to my very intriguing binder.

Don't come here.

He's walking in my direction...Oh no.

Don't come he-

The sound of someone pulling out a chair. The chair right next to mine. There were countless other empty seats, but he had to choose the one located next to me.

"So, we meet again." He greeted in a monotone manner. I only hummed in response, forcibly directing all of my focus into my binder. "Why'd you run away from me? You looked pretty freaked out back there." He continued the heavily one-sided conversation.

"I didn't run away!" I exclaimed, putting down my binder for emphasis. He looked quite shocked at my sudden outburst. The man then let out a chuckle. And I'm pretty sure that he was mocking me.

"Hah. Well, okay then. Whatever you say," He shrugged his shoulders and I picked my binder back up; my determination to seem preoccupied increased suddenly.

"But, the Nile isn't just a river in Egypt." This earned a sideways glare from me, but I soon returned my attention to what was in front of me. I knew that he would probably attempt at conversation again, and I don't think he is going to buy my "binder" act for much longer. But I was saved by the bell, and class started. The teacher called roll, and I learned that the man's name is Levi.

My teacher, , gave the same beginning of school lectures every teacher did, but skillfully added a joke here and there to keep the class's attention. He is quite an eccentric man, and time seemed to fly by thanks to his numerous storytellings. And I was thankful, because next I have lunch. So that means no more awkward interaction with Levi. Because, who knows? I could end up becoming friends with this guy, and even though that seems highly unlikely, I still have to take caution in my decisions.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Once the lunch bell rung, I rushed to the door. I made my way to my locker, and fumbled in my pocket to try and find my wallet. I was able to pull out a 10$ bill, which should be able to get both Mikasa and I something. I put my stuff away, and took out my phone.

**Eren: where r u?**

Mikasa: I'm in the cafeteria. I met...a couple of people, and we're sitting with them. So be nice.

**Eren: why**

Mikasa: ...because, Eren. I don't want us to be lonely. Suck it up.

**Eren: fine. but i'd be ok if it was just u and me**

Mikasa: I know.

Mikasa: Oh, and Sasha is going to be sitting with us too :)

Oh, how fantastic. I get to sit with potato girl, and her potato loving posse.

Mikasa always tries to find friends for us, and while it succeeds for her, me not so much. And that's fine, because I don't need friends. I don't want friends, I always tell her this but she still tries. I'm not sure that she'll ever understand.

With a huff, I put my phone away and headed towards the cafeteria. I was stunned at what I saw. I found Mikasa sitting at a table, with a lot more than a "couple of people.". I could barely hear myself think over their loud voices.

Maybe, I could just sit somewhere else alone? She will probably-

But my sister spotted me, and immediately called me over to the table. And so did a couple of slightly recognizable faces.

"Hey, Eren!" Sasha said, after gulping down her food.

I gave a haphazard smile to everyone as I sat down next to Mikasa. I don't want to seem like a total jerk, but I just have to make sure not to be too friendly. I gestured the money to Mikasa, and she shook her head.

"I'm going out to eat after school with some people, you keep the money. Unless, you wanted to come?" I'm pretty sure she already knew my answer.

"No," I shook my head. "I'm fine."

"Okay. Well, I should introduce you to everyone else here. This is Eren, my brother."

"Marco," Marco smiled sweetly at me. Freckles were scattered across his face, his dark brown hair parted down the middle.

"Armin." It was the same boy from my biology class. And...I was a total dick to him.

"Haha. We've somewhat met, we have first period together." Armin laughed.

"Yeah." I agreed quietly. Mikasa's eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh! Well, that's good." She had a humongous grin on her face. She probably thinks we're friends.

"Hey, Eren. You're the one who was late, right? Wow, first day." A guy with an obnoxious two-toned undercut snickered, and Marco hit his arm.

"Jean!" Marco whispered something in his ear, and Jean's face immediately turned red.

"You, you wouldn't."

"I would. So stop." Jean crossed his arms and pouted his lips. "I'm sorry about him, Eren. He tends to... not think before he speaks." I was about to respond, but Mikasa interjected.

"It's fine. Eren is that way too. I think they might have a lot in common." I glared at Mikasa. There was no way I could be similar to him. I have a feeling that we're not going to get along very well. Mikasa looked at both sides of the table then continued.

"Here's Connie," Connie enthusiastically waved at me.

"This is Christa." Christa smiled at me, her blue eyes shone with kindness. She looks like an actual angel. I think they might have noticed my obvious ogling because...

"Hey, I'm Ymir." Ymir threw her arm around a flustered Christa, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "And she's mine." Christa's eyes widened, and a blush grew on her cheeks. Ymir just laughed adoringly at her. The entire table then joined in on the laughter.

"I wouldn't get too close to Christa, Ymir is very protective." Armin chuckled.

"Yeah! Bitch be cra-," Ymir then glared intimidatingly at Connie. "-crazy beautiful! Hehe..." A worried Connie nervously laughed. I can tell that Ymir isn't the type you want to get mad.

"Connie. You never... know when to... shut up, do you?" Sasha said between bites of food.

"Yeah! Well you never know when to stop eating!" Connie spat back. Sasha's eyes grew 10 times bigger.

"Shut up!" Sasha sniffled. "You-you know how much I love food!"

"Yeah... I'm sorry." Connie apologized.

I stared confusingly at them. They fought over something so easily? And they made up so fast? Armin leaned in to me. "Don't worry. They do this all the time. They fight over stupid things a lot." He whispered. I just nodded in agreement.

After Mikasa finally convinced me she didn't want anything to eat, I got up and headed towards the line. I soon stopped in my tracks when I realized someone was there. Some similar short guy with black hair and icy grey eyes. Turning on my heels, I ran back to my table as fast as I could.

"Hey, I thought you were going to get something to eat?" Mikasa asked me.

"Nope." I simply responded.

For the rest of the lunch period, I just silently listened to everyone's conversations. They were numerous more Sasha and Connie fights, but nothing really piqued my interest. So when the bell rang, I was grateful. I was about to go to my locker, but a voice abruptly stopped me.

"Hey, are you okay? You weren't talking all that much." Armin worried.

"No.. I'm fine." I lied.

No I'm not.

"Oh...okay." He sighed. I'm sure he knew something was up, he looks to smart to not know. "But, if you ever need anything, just know I'm there."

"Thanks." I mumbled, and continued back to my locker.

The remainder of the day seemed to drag on for what felt like an eternity, but it finally came to an end. I gathered all my stuff into my backpack, and started walking to the buses. I found my bus and got on, picking the farthest seat in the back. I rested my head onto the seat in front of me, and waited for my stop to come.

Who was Levi? I feel like... I knew him. But, that's impossible. I only just met him today, right? Why did I have to cry when I saw him? Maybe, it's all for the better that I avoid him. He must've done something horrible to me for me to act like that.

My thoughts halted when the bus arrived at my stop, and I headed home. I waited for Mikasa, but then I remembered. Realizing she wasn't going to be home for a while, I got out my keys and unlocked the door. Dad's car isn't here, so he's not home yet; I'm glad.

I ran up to my room, and set my stuff onto the ground before collapsing onto my bed. Today was a long day. My eyes suddenly felt heavy, and I let them close. I can probably afford to take a little nap and do my homework later.

My eyes shot open by the sound of a door slamming closed.

Dad.

I then rolled over so that I faced away from my door, and forced my eyes closed. Maybe if he sees that I'm sleeping, he'll wait until I wake up. But heard footsteps getting louder and louder, and the creaking of my door opening.

"Where's Mikasa." He growled. I continued with my sleeping act, and he angrily walked over to me. My dad turned me over and shook me until I opened my eyes. He grabbed me by my shirt and pulled my so that I was standing.

"Where the fuck is Mikasa!"

"She's.. out with friends." I quietly murmured.

"Good."

And with that, my torture began. He shoved me against the wall, and I gasped for breath. His knuckles met my face, and my cheek stung. He thew a couple more punches at my face before he kicked me down to the ground, his foot repeatedly coming down onto my side. I reached up to touch my face, and I could feel the wet blood that trickled. I then watched him stomp out of my room, and everything turned black.

"Eren! Eren, wake up!" Mikasa yelled until my eyes slowly opened. I tried to sit up, but the aching pain that shot up my side stopped me as I cringed. Then I remembered what happened earlier.

My eyes widened as I realized that Mikasa has never seen me like this, but now she has. I mean, she's seen me with bruises, but she never knew who they were truly from. Whenever she would ask, I'd just tell her that I had gotten into a fight.

Mikasa caressed my face, sympathy flooding her eyes. She then threw her arms around me tightly, and I could feel her chest heaving.

"Dad did this, didn't he?" I only nodded, and her hug tightened. I wrapped my arms around her, and I felt tears soak my shirt.

"Eren...Eren I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I didn't know it was him. But, I should've known. You shouldn't have had to..." She cried.

"It's fine, Mikasa. I never told you. How were you supposed to know."

"Still, I should've known." I rested my head on her shoulder, and tears silently streamed down my cheek. "Eren, I promise; I will not let it happen again. I love you."

"I love you too, Mikasa." I smiled warmly. It seems better now that she knows, now she understands a little bit more. It feels as if an immense weight had been lifted, and I'm not having to be burdened with it any longer. Because we share the weight equally, and it becomes easier this way. And with her help, things can get better: better for the both of us. But do I deserve to get better? I want it to get better, I really do. But would my happiness even be justified?

I'm honestly not sure. All that I know is, I intend to hold her to that promise.


	5. Even when the music's gone

The reason this story has been updated so quickly was because it was previously written on a different site, and I just transferred my work here. So from here on out, updates will not be as frequent. I usually update every week/ other week since i have ballet 5 days a week and usually get home at 9. But anyways, onto the story!

•~•~•~•~•~•Levi P.O.V.•~•~•~•~•~•

I was walking into my English class, only to see the same kid from before. The kid that ran away from me.

Now he's desperately trying to hide behind his binder. Why? I'm not sure. And so, being the "I want to know why at any costs" kind of person that I am, I decided to sit next to him. He only sinked lower behind his protective barrier.

"So, we meet again." He simply hummed in response. As his focus on his ever intriguing binder increased, so did the uncomfortable muteness between us. I decided to skip the light conversation and get right to the point.

"Why'd you run away from me? You looked pretty freaked out back there."

"I didn't run away!" He slammed his binder onto his desk, finally revealing his face completely and I was left in utter shock. Briefly. Now that I'm able to get a good look at him, I've got to admit he's attractive, in a boyish way. But I'm not attracted to him. No, not at all.

His face became flushed as his eyebrows furrowed. What is up with this kid? A soft chuckle escaped my lips.

"Hah. Well, okay then. Whatever you say." Flustered, he picked his binder back up and once again tried to shield himself from my sight. How cute- I mean annoying. Annoying, bratty, and irritating. Yes, all of those.

I hope he isn't able to see my face right now. As if on an unfortunate cue, his eyes flickered above his binder and towards me momentarily. of something witty, Levi. Something witty.

"But, the Nile isn't just a river in Egypt."

Then his confusingly colored eyes shot me a death glare. A poorly executed one I might add, but still a glare. And I know I've fucked up. Any chance of me getting to know him any more has surely disappeared. How could I have gotten him to hate me so easily? Maybe I shouldn't have been so assertive. Hanji always tells me that it's "something I have to work on," but I guess I need more practice. I mean, I have just met him. And yet, it feels as if I haven't. I've known him before, seen him before. But, that's impossible. Purely impossible, right?

Still, I can't shake the feeling that I get when I'm around him. I'm not sure how to describe it. And I don't think I would want to anyways, so I guess it's for the best.

Throughout the remainder of the class period, I shot the brat, or Eren as I soon learned via 's roll, occasional glances. Every so often, our eyes would meet, but the action was gone as soon as it came. Thankfully, the bell rung and we would know longer have to sit through the awkward silence.

I was unable to sleep that night, somewhat similar to every other sleepless night. Though this time it wasn't solely the dull concentration on my ceiling that steadily kept me from going insane, but instead a pair of shining eyes that plagued my mind.

I focused on eagerly deciphering the complex color that were the eyes. At first glance, they seemed to be an ocean of blue. Once you took another look, they were a meadow green. They weren't completely one single color, yet a mixture of the two. And the color seemed to change every time, varying in intensities of green and blue. It was an plain injustice to call them simply "turquoise," but there was no other color to describe the eyes.

Just looking at the beautiful eyes seemed to calm me, and I realized the owner of the color that was causing my (inevitable) sleep-deprivation. They were Eren's.

Eren.

The brat with the annoyingly messy hair. The mesmerizing eyes. The somehow different eyes. Yes, they're the same, but they're not. They were the same extraordinary color, but one gave of a healthy, determined sheen. The other seemed blank and lifeless; Eren's. Why were his like that? Why did he seem to have blatant disregard, what caused this? I want to know if it'd possible to revive the liveliness in his eyes, because I know it was there once.

I found my mind once again wandering off, thinking about the little brat that weaseled his way into my brain as my focus on my surroundings lessened. Why am I thinking about him? I shouldn't be. I should be asleep, or at least thinking about something else; anything else. Why him? What is it about him that is causing this?

I would never bring myself to admit it, but somewhere, I knew exactly why.


	6. Just a psychotic girl

There's lots of hugs. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs. So yeah. Hope you enjoy! Things shouldn't be so sad after this.

Onto the story.

xxx

I woke up to the sounds of Mikasa's not-so-quite muttering.

Apparently, after yesterday's events we ended up cuddling up together and falling asleep. Just like we used to do as kids. Our mother would always take pictures and share it with the rest of our family, or pretty much anyone she could show.

"I'm going to fucking kill him. I swear, I will kill him. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him..."

Her words hadn't fully registered in my lethargic brain.

Until now, that is.

I immediately shot up from my previous sleeping position to find Mikasa in something that I like to call "Psychotic-Mikasa Mode." My parents would get angry at me when I would run around the house yelling "Psychotic Mikasa," yet the name still stuck.

Only a select few have had the (un)lucky chance to witness her in this state, including me. None of us really knew the specific out's and in's of it, but all you really need to know is just to "stay away."

She would usually become psychotic Mikasa when she gets angered, which is unfortunate. Mikasa and I fight frequently.

Her eyes would scarily darken to an almost-black, locked on what's in front of her. She would mutter various things for a while, before finally acting upon the poor, unfortunate soul who had gotten her mad. Which was usually me.

Meaning I would be proudly sporting the color purple.

Ironically, Mikasa hates when I am hurt. So once she becomes aware of her actions, she apologizes over and over again to the point that it eventually becomes annoying. But I, of course, forgive her. And so, I am -somewhat- able to pull her out of it, due to my experience.

But she still held the deathly glare.

"Mikasa?" I called out towards her shakily.

She slowly turned towards me. Her expression soft and mouth slightly opened.

"Eren..."

Mikasa moved closer, and wrapped her arms comfortingly around me. I could feel her breathing turn heavy as she whispered into my ear.

"I'm going to kill him."

My eyes widened as I realized what she was saying. I quickly tore away from the hug so I could look her into her eyes.

"Mikasa. No. I know you're mad but... you can't do that. I know you don't really mean it. But don't you even say it." I pulled her in for another hug once I saw the tear. "Don't stoop to his level, Mikasa." I cautioned. Mikasa clutched tighter into the hug at my words.

"I know. I won't. I just hate him. I hate him so much. I wish mom was here... instead of him" She sniffled into my shoulder. I nodded in reply as I felt my eyes start to sting, blinking away the burn. My eyes clamped closed as I rested my head onto her shoulder, silent tears dropping of my cheek.

That makes the both of us.

xxx

"Mikasa!"

I am currently holding Mikasa back with all that I could, attempting to prevent her attempted murder. But it was like trying to hold back a rampaging bull.

"Eren! Let me go!" She screamed, finally breaking out of my grasp. Mikasa immediately went for my fa- Grisha's throat. Though Mikasa was using full force, Grisha didn't even try. He just let my sister choke him. And I wanted her to continue to choke him.

But, wouldn't that be so hypocritical of me?

So I pried Mikasa fingers of off his neck while Grisha was left gasping for air.

Rage was practically seeping from Mikasa's entirety as she glared at him, but he didn't waiver under her menace. Grisha simply acted nonchalantly at her attempted intimidation.

And this made her even angrier.

I warily watched as Mikasa walked towards Grisha, and harshly shoved a finger into his chest.

"You are a sorry excuse for a father. Ever since mom died, you've been acting different. You were supposed to become more of a parental figure now that she's gone, not less! It's like both of our parents are gone!" She was screaming into his ear by now, tears soaking her face. My heart is racing, thumping heavily against my chest. "You're not supposed to take out your anger that she's dead on your children!" Her face was almost touching his, she was so close. "You really think you're the only one who was affected by it? Oh please, get over yourself! Eren has had to suffer more than you after she died. And you're wanting to add to that? You're disgusting." She spat vindictively.

Mikasa finally pulled her finger away. I wanted to run and comfort her right now, but I know that's not what she wants at this moment.

The choking silence was shattered by convulsive laughter.

"How pathetic," Grisha snickered. "You're protecting that."

That? Was I really so unimportant that I wasn't even considered human?

"I pity you for that, Mikasa. I really do. You don't see it for the evil that it really is. But soon enough, you will. And you'll be sorry for doubting me. You're welcome to come back to me once you have come to terms with it. For now, you're on your own."

Without even glancing my way, he shoved past me and up the stairs, earning a deadly look from Mikasa.

"Eren. I'm sorry... I am... but he just... is horrible." She managed to wheeze through her unsteady breaths as she rhythmically clenched her fists. My face contorted and I rushed to her and pulled her in for what is probably the 100th hug we've had today.

"I know, it's okay. He'll be gone now. It'll be different. We'll be different. It's going to get better." I assured her. She picked her face up from my shoulder and furrowed her brows.

"This is strange. I'm usually the one comforting you."

"Yeah, well maybe it's time for a change." I giggled. She smiled warmly at me.

It was a beautiful sight, She reminded me of my mother so much. And that only increased when she let herself smile. But sadly, it wasn't often that I got to witness it. There's been less reasons to be happy since mom died.

"I'm not so sure about that. I like being the one giving you hugs."

"Can't we both give each other hugs? We can give equal amount of hugs. You can even give more one more hug than I do."

"Fine, I guess so." She huffed sarcastically.

"So," The atmosphere suddenly shifted into seriousness. "I guess we'll going to need to get jobs."

"Yeah. I'll get one though, not you." She affirmed me. But I wasn't having it.

"Mikasa! No, I'll get it. You've done enough for me, being so protective. Let me do this one thing to support us." I protested. Apparently, she wasn't having it either.

"No. I'm the older one of us. It's my responsibility."

"But you're always the one doing things like this! You should focus more on yourself, just let me handle it for once."

"I'm getting the job."

It seems as if we always get into an argument over the stupidest of things. Why not agree to disagree? Because we, of course, both want to be right. And the other to be wrong.

"Okay, here. Let's both get a job." I deduced. I'm not sure I could come up with anymore comebacks against Mikasa's strong willingness.

Mikasa sighed heavily, but finally agreed. This was, in my head, a victory for myself. Though it was a bad decision to smirk proudly, given I got a flick in the ear.

What happened to not wanting to hurt me?

xxx

After what felt like an eternity, Grisha finally shuffled down the steps carrying his suitcases. I stared, while Mikasa glared, as he put on his shoes and opened the door. Hand still on the knob, he looked back to Mikasa. Grisha took out a wad of cash in his wallet and gestured it to her, but she only hissed in response. I was mentally slapping her in the face right now.

He only shrugged and dropped the money on the ground before leaving. It's a good thing we'll still have a car, given my parents had their own separate cars. Grisha's was always messy anyways.

Once I heard the sound of the car leaving the drive, I picked up the money from the floor and stuffed it into my jean pocket. I looked towards Mikasa with a soft smile.

"He's gone." I said.

"He's gone." Mikasa's lips lifted upwards.


End file.
